Dear non-billionaires,
I’m an anonymous billionaire and this is my website.
Call it an extremely late life crisis, but I’ve managed to overcome my disdain for the poor. Recently I’ve even discovered that I actually want to help them! Scary, huh? My friends at the club think I’ve gone crazy. But none of them are billionaires (one of them is actually worth less than 100 million!), so they don’t understand.
Dear reader, there’s an amazingly good chance you’re not a billionaire and a pretty good chance that you’re not a millionaire. Chances are you’re nothing but a lowly thousandaire. Heck, in this day and age, there’s even a darn good chance you have negative dollar worth. If that’s the case, then boy-oh-boy do you need my help! I’ve lived through 10 recessions, a depression and a dinner date with Warren Buffet.
I can help out with pretty much any financial topic. From investing to business, I’m the rich octogenarian who’s feeling charitable. And don’t worry, you don’t need an MBA to read this website. All of my financial advice is as accessible to the layperson as it is sound. I will try keep my jargon-laden prose to the boardroom and my profane disdain for the poor to the backroom. On this website, I will be friendly, accessible, and helpful. I will keep the obscure references to my obscene wealth out of it.
No, I won’t be able to get you to a billion dollars. You either need to be smart, lucky and connected or; have access to a trust fund to get where I’m at. But, you never know, if I take you under my wing, you just might get to a million. Of course, this is all pretty much tongue-in-cheek and you should always read our extensive disclaimer(s) before acting on anything you read on this website.
So, my young whelp apprentice, what sort of financial advice is it that you looking for? You can browse our website or ask me a question.
Here are the things I know about:
- Investing
- Business
- Economics
- Lobbying
- Insider Trading
- Kleptocratic Corporatocracies
- Offshoring
- Golf
- The advantages of being rich
- Schmoozing
If I can’t help you with advice, you can at least sell me your organs. Mine are all failing. I’m both ancient and I’ve shoveled thousands of pounds of shrimp into my body.
Enjoy My Website,
Yours,
Mr. Billionaire